A word to both sides:

First- Disclaimers. I did not vote for Trump. I do not particularly like Donald Trump. I tend to be moderate in my political views but definitely lean more conservatively.

This was not written to persuade anyone toward a certain political view, but my hope is that everyone can stop and try to understand the other side. It doesn’t mean you have to like what’s going on, but hopefully if you understand a little better, it will make it a little easier to be kind.

For those of you who don’t understand how Donald Trump could possibly win this election:

Don’t worry- I’m not here to attack you. Farther down, I try to explain and understand the other side as well.

I have thought of many reasons why people have voted for Trump. Some I can understand, and some I cannot- but I have accepted them as legitimate reasons.

First, please understand that many MANY Republicans were in shock when Trump took the Republican nomination. That’s when they were appalled. They had several months beyond that to come to terms with this and figure out what they were going to do.

There are many who came to the decision to support Trump very easily; they were already supporters, liked his policy, liked his willingness to speak his mind, and liked the fact that he’s not a politician. I personally, have a hard time understanding this, but I’ve accepted that this is one category of supporters.

Next. There were many people who thought the choice came down to (in their minds) political corruption vs a disgusting, pigheaded, bully. Maybe you also had the same choice in your mind and preferred to choose political corruption. Others chose the bully. (Again. In their minds- not my thought process).

For some people, and these are the ones that I think are being hurt the most by the harsh words said against “Trump supporters,” this was really, truly, an agonizing process. They looked at the issues. Maybe they were so passionate about a need to fight abortion that they just had to place that issue as the top priority. Gun rights, immigration, etc. Not because they are “racist” or because they want to take away a woman’s right to choose, but because these are issues that they hold close to their heart. Issues that are so important to them, that they were willing to look past the flaws of the candidate in order to have a republican appoint the next Supreme Court justices. Yes, you can disagree with their political stances on these issues, but please, do not scream hatred and intolerance at them. Besides, isn’t that what you claim many of them are? Hateful and intolerant? Which leads me to my next point:

People don’t like being called racist, sexist, intolerant, or bigoted. Especially when it’s not true of them. By using these words, many people have been pushed farther and farther from open-mindedness, and more and more into their own beliefs. “Oh you think I’m racist for believing that people should come to this country legally? Well I’m not going to change my mind. All that does is make me angry.” Yes there are many, many people who voted for Trump who are hateful. Who are sexist, racist, intolerant, and bigoted. It’s unfortunate, but they existed long before Trump. And many people, like I said, voted for Trump, knowing his flaws, HATING his flaws, but had to prioritize something else over these feelings. You may not understand how they could possibly prioritize anything above that, but that’s the beauty of our agency: your beliefs do not exist to trump someone else’s beliefs (no pun intended). They exist for you to defend, not to attack.

Are there more reasons people voted for Trump? Probably. But these are the ones I thought were most important to highlight.

Remember. When you say hateful things about Trump supporters, you aren’t just saying them to the intolerant, racist, sexist, and bigoted people, you are saying them to the people who spent months coming to the decision to defend their own beliefs and stances on the issues even though it meant voting for Trump.

For those of you who think people who feel fear, sadness, or mourning are silly and immature:

First. Please stop. Invalidating people’s feelings is the root of so many problems. Depression is perpetuated by people discrediting the sadness of others. It drives people to feel that they don’t have a reason or right to feel. And that needs to stop.

Next. The fear is real, and the reasons to fear are real. While many of the reports in “Day 1 in Trump’s America” (https://twitter.com/i/moments/796417517157830656) may be exaggerated, I can guarantee you that many are not. There are horrible, horrible people in this country. This may not be you. In fact, I sincerely hope that it’s not you. But the hate directed toward minorities exist. The hate directed toward white males exists. Hate exists, and is real. Yes, this hate existed long before Trump existed and was elected. And yes, I do believe this pushed this hate over the edge and suddenly gave people the extra umph they needed. It’s sad and it’s disgusting. Horrible.

Is it fair to say, however, that Trump supporters are the only ones? Definitely not. But please don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. There are people all over the nation who acted out when Trump was elected. They showed their hatred, and in fact, were proud of their hatred. It’s horrible that these people have been made to represent all Trump supporters, but it exists.

Fear of these people is real and valid. Fear for the minorities is real and valid. Sadness that horrible people exist is real and valid. And mourning for what could be coming is real and valid.

For everyone:

How do you talk to your children about this? Simple. Well- not simple. Be clear about what behavior you believe to be acceptable. Raise your children the way you want them to be raised. Personally, I hope that you decide to raise them with love and tolerance. Teach to understand that people can make their own choices, and they do not have to be the same as your own choices. Teach them that there is hate in the world, but that love is stronger. Teach them that different is beautiful, to the extent that people accept differences. Don’t give up and teach your children that in order to be successful they can be bullies and hateful, regardless of what you think the nation is teaching them. You are the parents, not the world. The most important things that children learn should be in their homes. Will the outside world affect them? Yes. But as someone who has worked with young children for years, believe when I say children learn the most at home.

Just remember-

As much as you think the right to life exists at conception, someone else thinks that a woman’s right to choose is lost when you don’t allow her the right to an abortion.

As strongly as you feel that a wall should be built, separating the United States and Mexico, someone else believes that people should freely be able to enter the country to escape their past situations.

And as passionate as you are that Donald Trump will destroy this country, somebody else is just as passionate that Hillary would have done the exact same thing.

And not only do these beliefs exist, they are all valid and individual to the person who holds them.

The Best of All Possible Worlds

Voltaire’s Candide raises a lot of good thought-provoking questions. The famous line in Candide is that we live in “the best of all possible worlds.” On the surface, this is meant to be an optimistic statement, but if you look deeper into the meaning, you see that this is kind of a passive sigh that means “I give up.” When you view the world as not having the ability to improve, it provides no incentive to improve ourselves. We just accept sadness of our existence. We view God as a puppeteer of all things on earth, and we feel that there is an absence of agency. Of course, as Latter-Day Saints, only few of us have this kind of thinking. However, we can apply it in a different way to our personal lives. Is this thought of us living in “the best of all possible worlds” something that applies to the way we think of our spiritual lives? Are we being spiritually passive? This is one of the biggest dangers as members of this church. We go through the motions of going to church, reading our scriptures, and saying our prayers, but there is always more we can do. We must work every minute of our lives to improve our spiritual life. As Brigham Young said, “after suitable rest and relaxation there is not a day, hour or minute that we should spend in idleness, but every minute of every day of our lives we should strive to improve our minds and to increase our faith in the holy gospel.” Often, we think that our lives are fine as they are and that we have no reason to want to change that. This mentality is what stunts our spiritual growth. Our life is a process of continually trying to improve. If we stop, what is the point of life? If we stop trying, life starts to lose its meaning. If we stop trying, we stop living. We must not allow ourselves to be spiritually passive. We must not let ourselves say that the spiritual world we live in is “the best of all possible worlds.” As soon as we say this we become passive and dismissive. We stop questioning the morality of the world around us and if we are not progressing, then we are moving backwards. Our spiritual growth is like a steep ramp. If we are not working to move forward, then we start slipping backwards. 

Individual Constraints

Before you read this, you should know that it might take me a while to get to my point...but just know that everything I say is leading up to it.

Ok. So I know a two and a half hour History of Psychology class sounds painfully boring, but it's not when you're taking it from a master-genius-guru-sensei hybrid. AKA Dr. Jeff Reber. Today we were talking about the ideas of Free Will vs Determinism and so he decided to bring in his own idea of Contextual Agency. Now, everyone's supposed to be able to choose which theory to believe...but I'm just going to go ahead and tell you which one to believe. Contextual Agency. Allow me to tell you all about it.

We have our agency, but we also have surroundings that affect the decisions we are capable of making. These surroundings provide both constraints and possibilities. For example, we have a body. Everyone's body is different and allows each of us to do different things. A person that is 6'8" will probably be able to dunk a basketball, while someone who is 5' probably will not be able to.

Now, moving on to a more broad idea. We are surrounded by a certain physical environment. Say we are in a room and we want to get out. Merleu-Ponty has presented this idea of specially favored modes of resolution. In this situation the door is specially favored because it was designed to help us exit a room. The wall, however, is not specially favored. As much as we might want it to happen, we cannot choose to walk through the wall. If the doors become barricaded, then the air ducts become specially favored. Do you see the point?

Finally, we come to the limitations placed on us through the social environment. We are restricted by social norms. For example, when you are walking around in a grocery store, you simply do not grab things out of another person's cart. It is just not socially acceptable.

So what's my point? Everyone is restricted by physical and social limitations. They are different for everyone and we cannot judge others righteously without considering their own personal restraints. What we tend to do is apply our own constraints on other people. If we were able to get past a certain situation why can't they? Why do they dress so immodestly if I was able to go throughout all my life dressing modestly? The truth is that we do not know what they are going through. We do not know all of their physical surroundings or their social surroundings. We do not know the trials that they have been through. And most of all, we will be judged, and as Matthew 7:1-2 says, "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." We cannot force our constraints on other people. They have their own constraints that shape who they are today. How would we feel if on our judgement day, our trials were taken out of the context of our life's situation? Nothing that happened to shape our lives would matter and we would receive a much harsher judgement.

Of course, we will be judged righteously and fairly in the final judgement day, but hopefully this helps us to put ourselves in other people's shoes. We cannot forget our imperfections. As the hymn says, "Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly." This all ties back to having Christ-like attributes. We must see through His eyes when we look at other people. Another favorite scripture of mine is 1 Samuel 16:7 which says, "...Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

So I leave you with this. Before making a judgement, consider all the possibilities. Is there a reason behind this person's actions? Look at their heart, not on their appearance. You never know how much suffering someone goes through on a daily basis. This is something I definitely need to work on. It will be hard to do, and it is not an immediate change we can make, but if we can at least catch ourselves doing it and become aware of it, that's a step in the right direction.

Smile

I was just listening to Dia Frampton's song, Inventing Shadows. The line I love most from this song is "Don't you know the world shines every time you smile? Why can't you just smile?" So answer me. Why can't you just smile? There is so much around you to be grateful for! There are several people who are much worse off than you are.

Looking around, sometimes I feel like I can't keep going on and feel like there are so many things going wrong in my life, but then I stop and truly see the world around me. I am at BYU. That alone is reason enough to keep me smiling for quite some time. I live with 5 other wonderful people. Each of them have amazing personalities that keep me motivated in my schoolwork. I just ate a wonderful homemade dinner consisting on breaded chicken and mashed potatoes. The fact that I have food is something that hundreds of thousands of people cannot say. I have socks, I have a bed, I have a shower, clean running water, I have a blanket, a TV, a cell phone, a loving family back home, and most importantly, I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. If that can't make me smile, I don't know what can.

Now, I'm not saying that you should always be smiling, although that would be a great work out for the muscles in your face. There are times that should be serious, times that are hard on the soul. In these times, we should always have a smiling heart. A heart full of gratitude and unconditional love for our Savior. Never forget to count your blessings, name them one by one.

Smile at your friends. Smile at nature. Smile at the fact the fact that you have the technology to view this blog post. Smile in the face of temptation. Smile in times of adversity. Smile.

Scripture Power

Scriptures are truly an amazing thing to have in our lives. It can bring amazing realizations and comfort if we study them on a daily basis. Today in my scripture study I happened upon this scripture found in Alma 34:41 which says

"But that ye have patience, and bear with those afflictions, with a firm hope that ye shall one day rest from all your afflictions."

What a beautiful scripture to come across. No, I'm not passing through some great affliction or trial, but little things in life do add up and become a heavy weight in my life and I have not dealt with them very patiently. This scripture helps me remember that I need patience because I know the Lord will help me through trials.

If you are down, passing through an affliction, having a disagreement with someone, find yourself impatient, or are just stressed out, please remember this scripture. It will help you so very much in life.

Ice Is NOT My Stage

Today was great! I got my calculus homework done early and then we went ice skating for family home evening. I already knew I was going to embarrass myself because I've only been ice skating once and that was when I was 9...but I only fell once! But I was holding on to the wall when I fell...So ice is clearly not my stage. It was tons of fun though!

Random thought: appreciate what you have. Do NOT take it for granted. The people and things you have were placed in your life for a reason. Everyone has a purpose, they are not here by coincidence. When you're mad at someone, just try to imagine what your life would be like without them.

A Random Thought

Oh. Can I say that I LOVE the Hunger Games? I'm on Book 3: Mockingbird. Also, can I say that I LOVE Peeta Mellark? Can we just bring him to life? And I'll keep him all to myself? Yes. That sounds good.